Character Qualities that make a Man and a Woman attractive

The elevators in our office buildings are installed with mirrors on the four inner sides of the wall.

When the elevators were discovered, engineers were concerned more about the safety of the people in it. But the makers of today are now not only concerned with the engineering part of it, but also the psychological part of it. From the elevator music to the strategically-installed mirrors, everything is well thought out.

In an article from Useless Daily, the author explains three reasons why mirrors are installed in escalators

There are three reasons related to both safety and psychology. Firstly, people usually get bored while being in an elevator. Mirrors abstract people’s attention so they do not complain about the time they spend in it. Moreover, many people suffer from claustrophobia, which means fear of being in small or closed spaces from which they feel they cannot escape. Mirrors make them feel that they are in a broader space. Finally, mirrors help people see their image while getting into it, so accidents are avoided.

Let me add a fourth reason to it: People feel good when they see themselves looking well dressed and smart, in the mirror. This may boost their self confidence and to start work with a positive energy. dressed

Looks are often our concern

Advertisements grab our attention with lots and lots of ideas on how to look more smart, attractive.

But, they forget to teach us something very important: How to look good from inside out? Who cares, right?

The Bible says

The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

This is true and worthy of great acceptance.

It doesn’t mean that you should look shabby and unclean on the outside. Some extreme form of holiness portrays the idea of being least bothered about our clothing or outfit. It is not a good idea to think that way.

The point here is, to be good-looking from inside out.

You really cannot alter physical looks beyond a certain limit

Jesus said,

for you cannot make even one hair white or black. (Matt 5: 36)

Recently, when I went to the saloon, to cut my hair, the barber, who was a young creative man, suggested, “Friend, you can straighten the front portion of your hair, and it will look good” (My hair is a bit curly)

I asked, “Oh good. If I straighten my hair, how often I will have to come here and do this, to maintain it?”

“Every three months. But if you want, I can use the hair dryer to temporarily model your hair to give you a feel of how it looks like. Then you can decide”

I was curious to see an altered version of me, so I said: “Ok. Let’s try” 😛

He used his hair dryer and did his demo on my hair. And yeah, it looked good as he said.

Then, I thought for a while, “Is it really needed? hmm? I am created by God. God has intentionally created my hair this way :) And I too really love it. Why should I pay and go for a different design when I myself is highly satisfied with the original design :)”

So I politely refused the idea and came back home with the temporary style. After a bath, it regained its original shape.

You are beautiful because God created you

You are created by God, and you are designed by the Master Designer. Therefore, God looks at you and says, “Wow, you are My master piece. My Hands knit you in your mother’s womb”

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. (Psalms 139: 13, 14)

So do not be much bothered about your physical looks, because you really can’t do anything to it. To a certain extent, it is good, because when we dress neatly, we look smart as God’s dear children. But being too much obsessed with looks will affect your personality.

Instead spend time in those things which makes you good-looking from inside out. Those are the areas, which we can really work on, and improve.

As I was reading the book of Timothy, I came across this portion, where Paul speaks about some things which makes a man or woman personally more attractive. Let’s quickly skim through.

Note: Even thought the context of this passage is regarding the divine order and role of a male and female in the church, we may pick up some qualities that can be generally applied to all forms of relationships/societies (in families or church or public places etc)

Character qualities that makes a man and a woman attractive

Here you go!

In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy. And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 10 For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. 11 Women should learn quietly and submissively. 12 I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly. 13 For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. 14 And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty. (I Cor 11)

If you are a boy or a man, please pick those character qualities from these verses which makes you handsome.

If you are girl or a woman reading this, pick up your makeup items from these verses :)


Ok, let me help you if you are still trying to figure out.

Makeup items for Men

1. Men should pray

I want men to pray (I Tim 2: 8)

Yeah, prayer is one of the important makeup items for your personality. Praying men have changed the history of this world. Prayer makes your face glow with the glory of God. Pray more and look more handsome.

Usually men are seen few in numbers at churches and other prayer groups.

In your home, who initiates the family prayer? Father or mother?

Paul urges: “I want men to pray” This is an encouragement to all men.

2. Men should be free from anger and controversy

free from anger and controversy. (I Tim 2: 8)

In his book, “Differences Between Men and Women in the Everyday Experience of Anger”, W. Douglas FrostJames R. Averill emphasis about anger.

In the case of anger, women are thought to be less, not more, emotional than men. Two kinds of argument have been advanced to support the notion that women are less prone to anger than men. The more traditional argument is biological; that is, men are “by nature” the more aggressive members of the species, and hence are more liable to become angry when provoked.

So men, listen: Let’s be slow to become angry, and stay away from controversy (prolonged public disagreement or heated discussions)

Ok, now let’s talk about women!

My dear sisters who are reading this, kindly bear with me as I’m re-iterating what Paul has mentioned here. :) If you have any disagreement, let’s discuss with Paul once we meet him at Heaven. Kidding! Let’s go ahead.

Makeup items for women

1. Women should be modest in their appearance

“I want women to be modest in their appearance” (I Tim 2: 9)

In an article from Psychological TodayNigel Barber writes

There is no argument about the fact that women spend a lot more time, effort, and money on their appearance than men do. Clearly, they do so because how they look is more important to them. That begs the question of why appearance is so much more important to women than men. One view is that women’s greater interest in appearance is socially learned – that it derives purely from social promotion and marketing of a feminine image.

But even centuries ago, Paul reminds his younger sisters of the generations to come, to be modest! 

Here is a MUST READ e-book for girls. Click to read: A Girl’s Viewpoint

2. Women should wear decent and appropriate clothing

Women who love God and really want to please God, should consider this point much prayerfully. This world has distorted the definition and purpose of clothing. So it is high time, for us to revisit the original purpose of clothing.

When God created male and female, they were not clothed

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Gen 2: 25

But when they sinned, their eyes were opened. They started to feel naked. So they made coverings for themselves

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Gen 3: 7

Yeah, but that was not enough! God had to clothe them again.

The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. Gen 3: 21

After the fall of man (when man sinned), things changed. Now we are living in a fallen world where clothing is required.

Before one gets out of her dressing room, it is good to ask oneself: “Will God have to clothe me again? Am I decently and modestly dressed?”

It is a well-known biological fact that men are often attracted by looks. Therefore sisters can help other men surrounding them by “wearing decent and appropriate clothing”, so that none of them may sin in their minds. Bible reminds us that we should never be a stumbling block to another believer, so if in any way, we cause others to sin, in their mind, we are accountable for their sin as well.

May the Holy Spirit Himself help all the sisters in this area

3. Women should not draw attention to themselves by…

They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. (I Tim 2: 9)

Here Paul highlights the list of things which may draw attention to a female

  • The way they fix their hair

According to a 2004 study in the journal Human Nature, the way a woman wears her hair does influence how the opposite sex sees her,. This survey found that women with longer hair were rated by male participants as appearing healthier and more attractive.

Also the Bible says, for a woman, long hair is a thing for beauty. (I Cor 11: 15)

  • By wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes

These are some of the items women usually use to make themselves look more attractive.

4. Women should make themselves attractive by…

For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do

Remember the great women of all times.

Mother Teresa (1910–1997) , Florence Nightingale (1820–1910), Helen Keller (1880–1968) to name a few. They made themselves attractive by their good works.

Look at the women of the Bible:

Mother Mary. She was obedient to God, and her husband (humble and submissive). She was willing to give the life of her Son Jesus for the world (sacrificial mind). Sarah, served food for God’s servants. (Hospitality) Rahab, saved the life of God’s servants. (Wisdom)

And the list goes on…

All the attractive women in the history adorned themselves with the good things they did. This is how women should draw attention to themselves, and not by mere outwards adornment.

5. Women should learn quietly and submissively.

Generally, being submissive is a thing of beauty for a woman, but it’s not synonymous with being a door mat or that she has no voice at all. Here is an interesting article on the 6 things SUBMISSION is not

The Bible has much to say about submission in general: Submission to God (James 4:6-7), Submission to political authorities (Romans 13:1-7), Submission to church leadership (Heb 13:17), Submission within marriage (Col 3:18), and even a general submissiveness of all Christians to one another (Eph 5:21). It is an order of the society. Even Jesus submitted to God, the Father.

Many of the conflicts in relationships can be wisely avoided, if this point is carefully and prayerfully considered. Especially, women has a greater role to play in this regard. The foundation is humility. Humility is one of the factors which drives submission.

In his book, 50 Crucial Questions About Manhood and Womanhood, John Piper clearly defines biblical submission in a marriage context.

Submission refers to a wife’s divine calling to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. It is not an absolute surrender of her will. Rather, we speak of her disposition to yield to her husband’s guidance and her inclination to follow his leadership. Her absolute authority is Christ, not her husband. She submits “out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21). The supreme authority of Christ qualifies the authority of her husband. She should never follow her husband into sin. Nevertheless, even when she may have to stand with Christ against the sinful will of her husband (e.g., 1 Pet. 3:1, where she does not yield to her husband’s unbelief), she can still have a spirit of submission—a disposition to yield. She can show by her attitude and behavior that she does not like resisting his will and that she longs for him to forsake sin and lead in righteousness so that her disposition to honor him as head can again produce harmony.

If you are a married person, and struggling for peace in family here is a highly recommended blog by April Cassidy, which has a ton of amazing materials on womanhood in marriage

6. Women should continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty

In addition, these are some of the other beautifying factors: Faith, Love, Holiness and Modesty

In short, men are supposed to stay away from anger, heated discussions and controversies. Instead spend time in praying. Women are to draw attention to their good works instead of drawing attention to their appearance.

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  • Aloshni Kruba

    Very valid that modest and appropriately dressed woman are more attractive! People who make efforts to draw less attention are indeed people with no identify crisis and people who are bothered about looks and dresses that set them apart to look trendy are indeed under identity crisis as they don’t have anything else to define them other than looks. What’s the point if a girl gets 1000+ Facebook likes on her profile pic and yet is a gossiper?

    • Donny Thomas Kurien

      Yeah. True. Thanks for your comments.