- All of us have got rejected at some point of our life.
You were not accepted at the college of your choice; You were not selected as your class monitor; Your most loving friend stopped talking to you for no reason; You were removed from a WhatsApp group; Your friends planned a trip without including you; You were not chosen to play on a school sports team; you were fired from your job with no good reason; Your parents showed more favor to your siblings; You were eligible but your colleague with less experience got promoted; Your job application was turned down on you; You were denied of an opportunity which you longed for
…and the list goes on
Being rejected is painful. Yes, we all have experienced it.
‘Rejection’ has three parts in it
- The act of being rejected (usually by a third person)
- The feelings which follow, ‘the feeling of being rejected’, or ‘the feeling of being unwanted/unloved’
- Emotional hurt or pain which follows
We can’t do anything with the first part. It happens!
But we can definitely do something about the second and the third part. This post is to help you deal with rejections in life!
If ‘rejection’ is not rightly dealt with, it can cause serious damage to your personality and the way you behave and talk.
Usually people carrying the wounds of rejection, have inferiority complex. They get hurt or offended easily even for a silly reason. I have such a close friend, who is having this problem of rejection. He is always moody, and gets irritated for silly reasons. Inorder to help such people, we need to show them extra love and care, because deep inside they are rejected, hurt and offended. They are longing for love and acceptance, which may be exhibited in different forms. It is simply because they still carry the inner wounds of the past rejections.
If you are one of them, I want to let you know that there is 100% cure for rejection. Read on.
How to identify wounds that are not healed yet?
How do you know that those hurts are still there on the inside of you? Here is a simple self-check technique to find out whether your wounds are healed or not!
When you recollect/think about a past rejection experience, do you still feel a small pain in your mind or an heaviness in your heart? If yes, that particular inner wound is still not cured.
If your physical body is wounded, how do you know that the wound is healed or not? If you touch that affected area, and you don’t feel pain, that means, it is already dried up. Maybe the scar remains, but when you touch that scar, it is no longer painful.
Similarly, if your inner wound is healed completely, the scar (or remembrance of that incident) may remain, but the pain will be gone for ever.
Before moving on to handling rejection, let me show you 4 probable symptoms of rejections, from a single instance of the Bible
1. You may get angry
The story of Cain and Abel (from the book of Genesis)
Adam had two children- Cain and Abel. Abel took care of flocks, and Cain became a farmer. Later, Cain brought some food from the ground as a gift to God. Abel brought the best parts from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. So Cain became very angry and felt rejected.
God did not accept the offering of Cain. He was REJECTED!
Now, what was his reaction?
He became ANGRY. Yeah, that was the first reaction to rejection. When you are rejected, you tend to become angry.
2. You may become sad
The Lord asked Cain, “Why are you angry? Why do you look so unhappy? If you do things well, I will accept you, but if you do not do them well, sin is ready to attack you. Sin wants you, but you must rule over it.”
When you allow rejection to continue having its effect on you, you naturally becomes sad, and your face will reflect it. Here God finds that Cain was looking unhappy.
3. You may start hating people
When you are rejected, if you do not deal with it rightaway, you become angry, and the next step, is probably you may react against it.
Here Cain got upset with his brother for no reason. God rejected his offering, and he started hating his innocent brother, just because God accepted Abel’s offering.
Note the words, “Sin is ready to attack you. Sin wants you, but you must rule over it”
When you are rejected, remember that sin is near you. If you do not control your emotions, soon it will have its power on you. Read what happened.
4. You may even want to kill (the worst case)
Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out into the field.” While they were out in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.
Since Cain could not control his emotions, he ended up killing his own brother. Yeah, this is the seriousness of rejection, if it not handled properly.
My dear friend, have experienced any of these before?
May be you may not have reached this extent, but you if you are not serious about it, you may end up killing your own self. It may cause serious damage to your self-esteem.
Let me guarantee you that it is 100% possible to be completely healed of the wounds of rejection. Ok, now let’s talk about it..
Let me point you to one Person who has handled rejection in the best way possible. He is none other than Jesus Christ Himself. You may be asking, when, how was Jesus rejected
Here are 8 rejections faced by Jesus
1. He was rejected right at his birth. His mother was denied a place to give birth to Jesus. What a tragedy!
she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. (Luke 2: 7)
2. He was rejected by his own brothers, because even his brothers did not believe in Him
For even his own brothers did not believe in him. (John 7: 5)
3. He was rejected by His own people, the Jews! (the religious society and his own country men)
He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. (John 1:11)
4. His most trusted friend and disciple denied Jesus three times (Luke 22: 54-62
5. His own disciple Judas betrayed Him (Matt 26: 25)
6. His own disciples finally deserted him, when Jesus was arrested
Then all his disciples deserted him and ran away. (Mark 14: 15)
7. He was denied justice at the court, even though he was proved sinless (John 19: 16)
8. Finally He was forsaken by God (for a short moment)
About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). (Matt 27: 46)
Have you ever been through these kind of rejections?
Jesus being the God of the universe, who created this whole world, humbled Himself to the point of death on the cross, was rejected.
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain (Isaiah 53: 3)
In other words, He knows exactly what you are going through. Yes, he knows each and every single thought which flashes your mind when you are rejected. He knows what it means to be rejected.
How did Jesus handle rejection?
The most interesting part is this: Jesus never carried negative emotions in His heart, against those who hurt Him. He was always positive towards them that hurt him. To Judas, who betrayed Him, He called, “My friend!”
Jesus, when He rose back to life, went back to His own disciples and started talking to them, as if nothing had happened. See the love of Jesus.
The secret of this is written in another verse
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23: 34)
In other words, when people were hurting Him, he was praying within, “God, they do not know what they are doing. Please forgive them”
Jesus was never carried away by the rejections of people, instead He put His trust in God, and overcame the pain of rejection by this simple prayer.
It is all about our attitude. Can we try this simple prayer, when people reject us?
But, why was Jesus rejected, in the first place?
He did nothing wrong. He suffered the rejection for you and me, so that we need not carry the wounds of rejection any more. No matter who has rejected you, the good news is, Jesus wants to ACCEPT you as you are.
Because of his love, God had already decided to make us his own children through Jesus Christ. (Eph 1: 5 NCV)
he hath made us accepted in the beloved. (Eph 1: 6)
You don’t have to earn his ACCEPTANCE, because it is freely offered to you. All you have to do is to believe and trust in Jesus Christ.
Acceptance is the solution for Rejection
When you start experiencing God’s LOVE and ACCEPTANCE for you, all your wounds will start getting healed, and your pain of rejection will be gone. Instead your mind will be filled with peace, happiness, joy.
REJECTION is resolved, when there is ACCEPTANCE. True ACCEPTANCE is received only from God. This simple revelation will open your eyes, and you will start to experience the freedom from rejection, the moment you start experiencing the LOVE of God.
If you haven’t yet received this acceptance, why to wait? Ask Jesus now itself!
Shall we pray!
Jesus, I know that you too have gone through my experience. I know that you know how I feel. I am sorry for all the wrong feelings that I have carried in my heart towards those who have wronged me. I forgive them, because you also have forgiven me many times. Lord, please have mercy on those who have rejected me. I release them. I accept your love and care for me. Fill my heart with true joy, peace and happiness. I love you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.