3 things you should NOT do when you are angry

Anger is an emotion. When you are angry, your blood pressure increases, heart beats faster and sometimes you will not be able to control yourself. But here are the three things you should NOT do while you are angry.

3 things you should NOT do when you are angry

1. Do not sin

In simple terms, in your anger, do not commit mistake. What does it mean? When you are angry, you may feel like shouting, screaming, cursing, throwing things away, calling out bad words and so on. (You can add to this list based on how much temper you have). During that moment, you may never know the consequences or after-effects of the things you say or do. After a while, when you become calm, you may regret your words you have spoken and the actions you have done.

So what to do?

Give yourself a ‘delay’ in your response. Whatever you feel like doing, decide to do it after some time. Seems funny? Yes, the secret is that, after some time, your mind will be back to a calm state and you will be able to think properly and take a wise decision. That way you can keep yourself from committing serious problems in your anger. If you practice this, gradually you will develop self control, which will be useful in overcoming such emotions.

There is a beautiful verse that may help us practice this principle.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry James 1:19

Three things to note here

  1. Be quick to listen
  2. Be slow to speak
  3. Be slow to become angry

Try these tips, it really works, especially at that time when you are angry.

2. Do not let the sun go down on your anger

In other words, do not go to bed angry. Settle it as soon as possible.

The thing which made you angry might be due to some action by a person or an unexpected situation in your life or something else which irritated you. It is natural to have that feeling of anger for some time, even if it is controlled. But here is a good advice – do not allow that emotion to stay within you for long. Being angry for a long time will affect your peace of mind and it affects your health as well.

So how to cool down easily?

Solve it! Find the real cause of that anger. If you sit and think for a while, analyzing the whole incident or situation, from different angles, you will understand what went wrong. Put yourselves in that person’s shoes. If the mistake is with the other person and nothing can be done, simply ignore it, forgive him/her and let it go. Why take all the worries in your head because of someone else? God can definitely help you to solve any situation.

The power of reconciliation

If the problem was with you, just admit it and be willing to change if needed! And the best way to get out of that emotion is to go to that person and get reconciled with him/her. Go and say sorry and do something which makes both of you to be in peace. Your ego (a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance) will not allow you to do so, but still overcome it, humble yourself and go! As a result, you will experience a great peace in your mind.

Else, whenever you think of that person, or think of that incident, you may become angry again, which can grow worse and cause many other problems in the relationship and the way you behave. Therefore, settle it as soon as possible.

That may be why Jesus said in Matthew 5, that we should not even worship God if we know that a person is having grudge against us. Read below

23-24 “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.

What a great standard has He set for us!

3. Do not give the devil an opportunity

What does that mean? Even though your friend or that person was the one who made you angry, the Bible clearly tells about a third person who also worked behind the scene. He is the devil whose intention is to destroy relationships and make the situation worse. Therefore when you are angry, remember that he is waiting for a chance to make you lose your control and cause you to do sin. So be alert!

No matter how worse the situation is, never allow the devil to take control over you, which means, never allow yourself to lose control and explode. When you lose control, you are actually giving space for him. If you give some space, he will negatively motivate you to ruin the whole situation. Instead say within you, ‘No, I will not do that. I am not that kind of person. I will forgive. I will wait. That word really irritated me, but I chose to wait, because I don’t want to create a scene here. Let me take some time to cool down’. This way you can motivate yourself to be calm.

Let me conclude

These three DON’TS are clearly written in the book of Ephesians 4:26,27.

Be angry, and do not sindo not let the sun go down on your anger, nor give place to the devil.

If you have noticed, the verse doesn’t say, do not be angry, instead it says, be angry, and do not sin. The Word of God is very practical. See the other translations of the same verse (Point#1).

Do not sin in your anger
Do not sin by letting anger control you
Be angry without sinning
If angry, beware of sinning
Be angry, yet do not sin

So if you become angry and at the same time not sin, then that is self-control. May God help you to overcome anger and stay away from doing sin and causing various problems in relationships and your life.

Shall we pray a simple prayer?

Father, I come to your presence. Many times, I have exploded on my anger. In my anger, I have done many things which I am not supposed to do. I regret for all those. I am really sorry. Please forgive my sins. Please help me to be humble and to control myself when I am angry.  Please restore the broken relationships in my life. I need your help. Thank you so much. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Does these three points cover everything? Did I miss any other DON’TS? What else do you have to give as an advise to the readers?

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  • varun singh

    I think after getting anger we should take some time & if you feel you were wrong, immediately accept it and reconcile with that person.

    • http://hisvoiceonline.com.md-in-70.bigrockservers.com/ Donny Thomas Kurien

      Yes you are right, Varun. Getting right with people gives us great peace of mind. And keeping up relationships is much important.

  • Joanna Sara Valson

    A very thoughtful article for a Christian!! Yes. This is one area where we need to exercise ourselves daily- Crucifying our anger and holding up the love of God. As mentioned, the power of reconciliation is the most amazing fact. That’s when you can experience His love the most. This is best put into practice at our homes- what we exhibit at our comfort zones, we will do the same at our stress zones. Let us make our homes a training ground. May God bless.

    • http://hisvoiceonline.com.md-in-70.bigrockservers.com/ Donny Thomas Kurien

      Yes, it all starts at home. As you rightly pointed it out, when this is practiced at our comfort zones, then it will indeed help us to be strong during stressful moments.

  • Zeno Ben Sunny

    Perfect one!!

    As in, James 1:20 says,
    “For man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
    Let’s keep ourselves from sinning, let’s reconcile before it’s too late and let’s NOT give devil a nano space in our life, relationship and in all our life.

    God bless you!


    • http://hisvoiceonline.com.md-in-70.bigrockservers.com/ Donny Thomas Kurien

      Yes true :) Better not to become angry soon.

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  • Amitha

    Nicely written Donny. Short, crisp and to the point. However as always I have a query. :) What if a person has wronged you for years, you have suffered in silence/patience awaiting a change in the persons demeanour. Ultimately you have screamed/displayed anger. Is that self defence or is it devil acting in you?? Or to state another simple scenario, Why is it that when a child does something wrong and a mother corrects him gently, he pays no heed. But the minute she raises her voice/gets angry the child stops the misdeed. ( applicable for kids atleast :) )

  • Tara Gomez

    Sister Amitha, your reaction could be the result of frustration and pent up emotions within you. You were unable to see any change in the person who wronged you for a long time, as you’d hoped.

    This also reveals the fact that you’ve not dealt with the hurt in the right manner in relation to yourself, while you were waiting to see a change in the other person. If God’s instructions are not applied in such situations, you’re bound to ‘lose control’ and ‘explode’. When you lose control, the enemy takes control of your mind and heart.

    As regarding children, the boundaries are set by parents. Some children by nature are submissive and obedient. Some are not. So the Bible clearly instructs in Proverbs 19:18, ‘Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death’.
    Proverbs 22:15, ‘Folly is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it out’.
    Proverbs 29:17, ‘Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul’.
    Son, here means child/children.