1. Know the Law of the Land

It is very essential to be aware of the basic terminologies with respect to the law of India (if possible, also the laws around the world) regarding sexual activities. This will help us to understand the news and the happenings going around.
What is section 377? What does it say? What is the crime involved in this act and what is not?
There might be a lot of questions in your mind. It is very important to get these cleared, for a better understanding of what’s happening around.

2. Know the Law of the Lord

Jesus commands us to search the Scriptures. It is very important to know what the Lord says, because He is the one who made the rules (or the law). Supreme Court is the ultimate authority, in India (and only in India), but the Law of God is made by the ultimate authority of the whole universe. Hence the Law of the Lord is much more important.

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. (Matt 28:20)

Jesus, the Creator of the whole universe (Colossians 1:16) holds ultimate authority on Heaven and Earth. Therefore, the Law maker commands

Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me (John 5: 39)

3. Learn the ‘Law of the Lord‘

And Moses called all Israel, and said to them: “Hear, O Israel, the statutes and judgments which I speak in your hearing today, that you may learn them and be careful to observe them (Deut 5:1)

4. Your children must know and learn ‘the Law of the Lord’

God (the Law maker) commands us to learn the law and teach our children

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut 6: 6-9)

Therefore, if you keep quiet and do not teach your children, you are accountable before God. It is ok to watch the news which highlights the ‘law of the land’, but remember to discuss the ‘law of the Lord’ with your children, as you go out, go to bed, go outside, talk about ‘the law of the Lord’. Let it get impressed in their hearts, before somebody impresses the law of the land into their hearts.
Let them know and learn to observe the law of the Lord, and just know the law of the land
Without the knowledge of what the law of the land actually states, it is not wise to get into a discussion or a debate.
Here are some essential things you should know regarding the law of the land and the law of the Lord regarding the news on 06th Sep 2018 (In the Indian Law)

5. What is Sections 377?

Section 377 is a section of the Indian Penal Code introduced in 1861, which states that

Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation.—Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offence described in this section. Source

6. What is legal and what is not legal in India?

Here are some important terms, (especially with regard to the laws of India)
RAPE

Unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person’s will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception. Source

Rape (in simple terms, sex without consent of one of the parties) is a punishable offence in India, according to Section 375 in The Indian Penal Code
ADULTERY
Under Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code,

Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows, or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor.

In simple terms, sex outside marriage is a punishable offence in India according to Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code.
UNNATURAL SEX (Unnatural Offences as the text says)

Text. 377. Unnatural offences: Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine

Here comes the main point of our discussion
Any carnal (means, anything to do with body) intercourse, even with consent, against the order of nature ‘was‘ a punishable offence, which included gay-sex, lesbian-sex and so on.
Which means, police could arrest anyone involved in such unnatural sexual acts, as they call it.
These three sections namely 497, 377 and 375 made RAPE, ADULTERY and UNNATURAL SEX illegal in India. On Sep 06, 2018, The Supreme Court of India decriminalised Section 377 which has now made UNNATURAL SEX legal in India.
So, if gay sex is legal, will gay marriage be considered legal in India? [Share your views below]

7. What does the ‘Law of the Lord’ says?

Have you noticed the term ‘order of nature’ in Section 377? Does it have any relation with the words of the Bible? Bible explains the act more clearly
Let’s read Romans 1: 26 and 27

For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.

Have you noticed the word nature in this scripture?

The natural use
Against Nature
Natural use of the woman

How clear!
Section 377 mentions the word ‘against the order of nature‘. Bible speaks even more.
See the phrase

men with men committing what is shameful

We call it GAY-SEX. If it is between women with women, it is called LESBIAN-SEX. This is what we call homosexuality.

Homosexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between members of the same sex or gender

We will see more on the terms Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, Queer etc in the upcoming posts. Remember to subscribe, so that you may not miss the posts
Both Section 377 and Romans 1: 26, 27 speaks about ‘nature’. Now, how will we define nature? Let’s see more on that, later

8. A man having sex with another man – Is this wrong?

Have you noticed the word, “error“? “vile passions” in the passage of Romans 1: 26, 27?
Let us read the same portion in few other translations

Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn’t know how to be human either—women didn’t know how to be women, men didn’t know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches. [The Message Translation]
Because people did those things, God left them and let them do the shameful things they wanted to do. Women stopped having natural sex and started having sex with other women. In the same way, men stopped having natural sex and began wanting each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and in their bodies, they received the punishment for those wrongs.

Read for yourselves and understand what the Bible says.
Is this wrong? Romans 1: 26, 27 calls it ERROR or WRONG. 

9. Is gay-sex and lesbian-sex punishable?

They are already punished. See the tense of this verse

receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
they received the punishment for those wrongs

10. Lot more questions?

What does it mean: receiving in themselves the penalty of their error? Did God already publish them? Are they not born as a gay or a lesbian? Will they get eternal punishment? So, do God expect LGBTQ community not to marry?
This is an open call to discuss and learn together. Stay tuned. More on this coming up! Share your views below

People feel good when they see themselves looking well dressed and smart, in the mirror. This may boost their self confidence and to start work with a positive energy. 

Looks are often our concern

Advertisements grab our attention with lots and lots of ideas on how to look more smart, attractive.
But, they forget to teach us something very important: How to look good from inside out? Who cares, right?
The Bible says

The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

This is true and worthy of great acceptance.
It doesn’t mean that you should look shabby and unclean on the outside. Some extreme form of holiness portrays the idea of being least bothered about our clothing or outfit. It is not a good idea to think that way.
The point here is, to be good-looking from inside out.

You really cannot alter physical looks beyond a certain limit

Jesus said,

for you cannot make even one hair white or black. (Matt 5: 36)

Recently, when I went to the saloon, to cut my hair, the barber, who was a young creative man, suggested, “Friend, you can straighten the front portion of your hair, and it will look good” (My hair is a bit curly)
I asked, “Oh good. If I straighten my hair, how often I will have to come here and do this, to maintain it?”
“Every three months. But if you want, I can use the hair dryer to temporarily model your hair to give you a feel of how it looks like. Then you can decide”
I was curious to see an altered version of me, so I said: “Ok. Let’s try”
He used his hair dryer and did his demo on my hair. And yeah, it looked good as he said.
Then, I thought for a while, “Is it really needed? hmm? I am created by God. God has intentionally created my hair this way And I too really love it. Why should I pay and go for a different design when I myself is highly satisfied with the original design :)”
So I politely refused the idea and came back home with the temporary style. After a bath, it regained its original shape.

You are beautiful because God created you

You are created by God, and you are designed by the Master Designer. Therefore, God looks at you and says, “Wow, you are My master piece. My Hands knit you in your mother’s womb”

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. (Psalms 139: 13, 14)

So do not be much bothered about your physical looks, because you really can’t do anything to it. To a certain extent, it is good, because when we dress neatly, we look smart as God’s dear children. But being too much obsessed with looks will affect your personality.
Instead spend time in those things which makes you good-looking from inside out. Those are the areas, which we can really work on, and improve.
As I was reading the book of Timothy, I came across this portion, where Paul speaks about some things which makes a man or woman personally more attractive. Let’s quickly skim through.
Note: Even thought the context of this passage is regarding the divine order and role of a male and female in the church, we may pick up some qualities that can be generally applied to all forms of relationships/societies (in families or church or public places etc)

Character qualities that makes a man and a woman attractive

Here you go!

⁸ In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy. ⁹ And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. ¹⁰ For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. ¹¹ Women should learn quietly and submissively. ¹² I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly. ¹³ For God made Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. ¹⁴ And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result. ¹⁵ But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty. (I Cor 11)

If you are a boy or a man, please pick those character qualities from these verses which makes you handsome.
If you are girl or a woman reading this, pick up your makeup items from these verses

Ok, let me help you if you are still trying to figure out.

Makeup items for Men

1. Men should pray

I want men to pray (I Tim 2: 8)

Yeah, prayer is one of the important makeup items for your personality. Praying men have changed the history of this world. Prayer makes your face glow with the glory of God. Pray more and look more handsome.
Usually men are seen few in numbers at churches and other prayer groups.
In your home, who initiates the family prayer? Father or mother?
Paul urges: “I want men to pray” This is an encouragement to all men.

2. Men should be free from anger and controversy

free from anger and controversy. (I Tim 2: 8)

In his book, “Differences Between Men and Women in the Everyday Experience of Anger”, W. Douglas FrostJames R. Averill emphasis about anger.

In the case of anger, women are thought to be less, not more, emotional than men. Two kinds of argument have been advanced to support the notion that women are less prone to anger than men. The more traditional argument is biological; that is, men are “by nature” the more aggressive members of the species, and hence are more liable to become angry when provoked.

So men, listen: Let’s be slow to become angry, and stay away from controversy (prolonged public disagreement or heated discussions)
Ok, now let’s talk about women!
My dear sisters who are reading this, kindly bear with me as I’m re-iterating what Paul has mentioned here. If you have any disagreement, let’s discuss with Paul once we meet him at Heaven. Kidding! Let’s go ahead.

Makeup items for women

1. Women should be modest in their appearance

“I want women to be modest in their appearance” (I Tim 2: 9)

In an article from Psychological Today, Nigel Barber writes

There is no argument about the fact that women spend a lot more time, effort, and money on their appearance than men do. Clearly, they do so because how they look is more important to them. That begs the question of why appearance is so much more important to women than men. One view is that women’s greater interest in appearance is socially learned – that it derives purely from social promotion and marketing of a feminine image.

But even centuries ago, Paul reminds his younger sisters of the generations to come, to be modest! 
Here is a MUST READ e-book for girls. Click to read: A Girl’s Viewpoint

2. Women should wear decent and appropriate clothing

Women who love God and really want to please God, should consider this point much prayerfully. This world has distorted the definition and purpose of clothing. So it is high time, for us to revisit the original purpose of clothing.
When God created male and female, they were not clothed

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Gen 2: 25

But when they sinned, their eyes were opened. They started to feel naked. So they made coverings for themselves

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Gen 3: 7

Yeah, but that was not enough! God had to clothe them again.

The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. Gen 3: 21

After the fall of man (when man sinned), things changed. Now we are living in a fallen world where clothing is required.
Before one gets out of her dressing room, it is good to ask oneself: “Will God have to clothe me again? Am I decently and modestly dressed?”
It is a well-known biological fact that men are often attracted by looks. Therefore sisters can help other men surrounding them by “wearing decent and appropriate clothing”, so that none of them may sin in their minds. Bible reminds us that we should never be a stumbling block to another believer, so if in any way, we cause others to sin, in their mind, we are accountable for their sin as well.
May the Holy Spirit Himself help all the sisters in this area

3. Women should not draw attention to themselves by…

They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. (I Tim 2: 9)

Here Paul highlights the list of things which may draw attention to a female

• The way they fix their hair

According to a 2004 study in the journal Human Nature, the way a woman wears her hair does influence how the opposite sex sees her,. This survey found that women with longer hair were rated by male participants as appearing healthier and more attractive.
Also the Bible says, for a woman, long hair is a thing for beauty. (I Cor 11: 15)

• By wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes

These are some of the items women usually use to make themselves look more attractive.

4. Women should make themselves attractive by…

For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do

Remember the great women of all times.
Mother Teresa (1910–1997) , Florence Nightingale (1820–1910), Helen Keller (1880–1968) to name a few. They made themselves attractive by their good works.
Look at the women of the Bible:
Mother Mary. She was obedient to God, and her husband (humble and submissive). She was willing to give the life of her Son Jesus for the world (sacrificial mind). Sarah, served food for God’s servants. (Hospitality) Rahab, saved the life of God’s servants. (Wisdom)
And the list goes on…
All the attractive women in the history adorned themselves with the good things they did. This is how women should draw attention to themselves, and not by mere outwards adornment.

5. Women should learn quietly and submissively.

Generally, being submissive is a thing of beauty for a woman, but it’s not synonymous with being a door mat or that she has no voice at all. Here is an interesting article on the 6 things SUBMISSION is not
The Bible has much to say about submission in general: Submission to God (James 4:6-7), Submission to political authorities (Romans 13:1-7), Submission to church leadership (Heb 13:17), Submission within marriage (Col 3:18), and even a general submissiveness of all Christians to one another (Eph 5:21). It is an order of the society. Even Jesus submitted to God, the Father.
Many of the conflicts in relationships can be wisely avoided, if this point is carefully and prayerfully considered. Especially, women has a greater role to play in this regard. The foundation is humility. Humility is one of the factors which drives submission.
In his book, 50 Crucial Questions About Manhood and Womanhood, John Piper clearly defines biblical submission in a marriage context.

Submission refers to a wife’s divine calling to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. It is not an absolute surrender of her will. Rather, we speak of her disposition to yield to her husband’s guidance and her inclination to follow his leadership. Her absolute authority is Christ, not her husband. She submits “out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21). The supreme authority of Christ qualifies the authority of her husband. She should never follow her husband into sin. Nevertheless, even when she may have to stand with Christ against the sinful will of her husband (e.g., 1 Pet. 3:1, where she does not yield to her husband’s unbelief), she can still have a spirit of submission—a disposition to yield. She can show by her attitude and behavior that she does not like resisting his will and that she longs for him to forsake sin and lead in righteousness so that her disposition to honor him as head can again produce harmony.

If you are a married person, and struggling for peace in family here is a highly recommended blog by April Cassidy, which has a ton of amazing materials on womanhood in marriage https://peacefulwife.com/blog/

6. Women should continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty

In addition, these are some of the other beautifying factors: Faith, Love, Holiness and Modesty
In short, men are supposed to stay away from anger, heated discussions and controversies. Instead spend time in praying. Women are to draw attention to their good works instead of drawing attention to their appearance.

Your Turn

Now is your chance to speak. Please share your thoughts below

Is a complete STOP possible?

Brother, I want you to know that, it is 100% possible to put a FULL STOP to pornography. Do you believe that?

Yes, but many times I tried to stop, and I really wanted to stop, but during that moment, I somehow fall into it.
I understand! It’s a real struggle. First, I want you to be rest assured that, it is 100% possible to stop watching pornography, and we need to believe it. There are many other sexual temptations, this one is the most critical, because it affects not only your mind, but your spirit. Your whole life is spoiled. It is definitely a SIN, and you know the consequences!

First point, it is clearly a SIN

I opened the scriptures, to this portion (in my mobile phone)

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

READ MORE: Why Jesus told not to watch porn?
Brother, you know what Jesus was talking about! This is clearly a sin! God really loves you so much, but He does’t like you to stay where you are now. He is willing to help. Are you ready?
(God is like a loving Father waiting for you with His loving wide arms to receive you)
Yes!
Brother, the second thing, I want you to understand is this: Pornography is demonic. There are demons who are at constant work day and night to force people to watch this. It is absolutely satanic. That is why many times you were unable to overcome with your own strength. You need a total deliverance. And that’s what we are going to ask God now! But you need to do one thing.

An agreement is needed

I turned to another scripture.

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the king’s food, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of the officers that he might not defile himself. (Daniel 1: 8)

(If you know the story of Daniel you can skip this para. Daniel was taken into captivity to Babylon. There he was one among them who was selected to be the King’s officials. They had to undergo training for 3 years. But Daniel and his three friends were vegetarians and it was against their faith to take part in the royal food. So Daniel decided in his heart, that he would not make himself unholy with the king’s food and wine. Therefore He requested the supervisor to consider him, in this matter. The Supervisor had special favor on Daniel and his friends and granted his request. Daniel and his friends successfully completed the training and the King certified that they were ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom. God honored Daniel and his friends for taking a stand for God in a foreign country)
Brother, what was the main thing Daniel did here?
He read that version again, and said, “Daniel purposed in his heart”
Very good! Daniel took that decision in his heart to stay holy. And that’s the key. So now, you need to take a decision in your heart that you will never ever watch pornography. Don’t think about whether it is really possible or not. Trust in God and take that decision. It’s an agreement between you and God. And I will be witness to that agreement.

I explained to him, on why a decision was important. God’s work in us starts when we decide to take a stand for Him. It is at that instant He will help us. If we think: It doesn’t matter, we will somehow overcome the temptation, let me tell you, it’s not gonna work.
In order to take that decision, first you need to understand that pornography is a business owned by the devil and we have no part in it. The CEO of this business is satan himself. Therefore, we need to reject satan and his products. You can’t please both God and satan. You have to say ‘No’ to satan and ‘Yes’ to Jesus. Then you will receive that supernatural power and strength to overcome this.
I noticed that he was convinced of what we discussed, and Holy Spirit guided us to the next step.

Thirdly, action

Brother, when we read that portion of Daniel’s decision, what did you notice next? (We read it again)
He replied, Daniel communicated his decision to the Supervisor
Exactly! That’s what we are going to do next. We are going to take this decision to the next step. We are going to communicate it to God, now! It is confession. Now, don’t worry about whether you will be able to follow that decision. Trust in God and confess it. It is God who is going to take care of you. He will contribute His best in helping you. Ready?
Yes, I am!
Also one more thing, apply the blood of Jesus, when you confess your sins. It is the blood of Jesus, which was shed on the cross for you, will wash away your sins completely

the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. I John 1: 7, 8

Now, I want you to spend few minutes praying on your own. Ask God for help. Take that decision now itself, and tell God what you have decided. (That was a silent moment of prayer)
Meanwhile, I was praying for his life (with my eyes open) I was pleading to God, to help him. I could really feel the divine presence of God at that moment. Heaven was opened, and God and His angels came to that restaurant to help us.
After that prayer, I told, Now we are going to pray together. God is going to give you deliverance. 100% freedom from pornography and satanic forces. Let’s pray
I started praying for him. I was moved by the Holy Spirit to pray in other tongues (That’s a special language in prayer). Father, I pray in the Name of Jesus, please help my dear brother to overcome this sin. By the authority laid upon me, I claim deliverance. Let him be freed from the power of satan. Forgive all his sins, and wash him with your blood. Cleanse him and make him whole. (as we continued some more time in prayer)
Wow!! It was a powerful moment. I could sense that the demons attacking him flying away from him. His face started to shine. And we experienced a divine healing.
Brother, how do you feel?
He explained how relaxed he felt. A great burden left him. I knew very well that he was already freed. I was so happy.
Brother, God is not going to remember your past sins. He has completely written it off! Be blessed

For I will be merciful to their wrongdoing, and I will never again remember their sins.

One last thing, pray that you do not fall into temptation

Brother, few more things we need to do. Don’t wait for that moment of temptation, inorder to overcome it, but pray at all times. Get ready beforehand to fight the battle. Temptation will still follow you, but God will help you.
READ MORE: Pray and get ready for the battle and also Preparing beforehand to overcome sexual temptations
And mercilessly block all the possible situations to get access to porn. Delete all unwanted stuff from your mobile phone. If you have free internet, switch off mobile data. Make yourself busy with other things. Don’t waste time sitting idle, that’s when the devil comes near to you. Do something, read, write, play, learn a musical instrument. If possible, buy an ordinary phone, and stay away from smart phone for some months.
And he did it. He bought an old model Nokia phone. I really appreciate his bold stand for Jesus. I had been following him up for the last few days. Never again he watched it. Praise the Lord. Jesus is real!
Those of you who are reading this, who really need help, please try the above steps. If you are still unable, I can also pray along with you. Don’t feel shy about it. Send me a private text here. Your mails or messages will be confidential. God bless you

…pausing to take another sip of drink…. The Senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said, “You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young, so we invented them. Now, you – arrogant little boy- what are you doing for the next generation?”

The Generation Gap

Generation gap is always the matter of misunderstanding between young and the old. In his book, WhatsApp Chinthakal (WhatsApp Thoughts), Mr Sharlet P Mathew speaks about 3 generations, namely X, Y and Z.

• People born after 1950 – X Generation
• People born after 1980 – Y Generation
• People born after 2000 – Z Generation

Which generation do you belong to? I think it’s true that there exists to be a gap between these generations. Gap between Y and Z would be less when compared to the distance between X and Z. I often hear parents requesting me to advise their teen age children about something they won’t listen to!
Last day, I was helping my dad to typeset a letter for one of his official need. I was typing the matter in my computer and my dad was siting next to me. As I was typing, he started to dictate to me, on the size of the font, thickness, space etc etc. I was bit irritated on the inside, because I was focused on getting the matter on to the Word file first, then set the layout at the end. There was a chance for a conflict.
I thought for a moment, tried to understand the situation better, then I got the big picture. My father was familiar only with the old type-writer process. In type-writer you can’t edit later, all you type will be instantly printed on the paper. He was thinking from that perspective, and that was why he was asking me to set the layout, then and there itself. But I was thinking from a Word-file process – type as you go, and edit later.
So, what I did was, instead of arguing and proving myself right, I tried to set the layout right then and there itself, as my dad wanted. It made my mind calm. I tried to see it from his point of view. Hence, we completed the task without much conflict
It’s all about how we perceive things.

If you could just put yourself in other’s shoes for a moment, perhaps you would understand why it is not as easy as you seem to think

The genuine gap

In every relationship, there exists a genuine gap. If that gap is not wisely bridged, then comes the misunderstanding.
If it is a husband-wife relationship, the gap would be gender based. Hope you have heard about the book, “Men are from Mars women are from Venus”.
For example, if men are involved in a conflict, once resolved, we men easily forget about it and moves on, but it’s not the case with women. Even if the issue is resolved, they can keep it in their mind for ever. I heard someone saying, Men are born with basic RAM (the old model, with minimum memory). once restarted, it’s gone; but women are born with huge capacity Hard Disk. Even if it is deleted, it can be easily recovered
There is a world of difference in how both genders behave. Taking this into consideration will avoid many conflicts in relationships.
Similarly, parents-children relationship usually have an age based gap, and in some cases, education gap adds on to it.
Whenever my mom calls me on phone, she is more concerned about what I ate for breakfast, how much sleep I had, how much water I drank and so on. Sometimes it seems bit irritating to answer these questions always. But later I understood that it is a global mother’s attitude
Some other conflicts may be due to the fact that people from old generation wants to follow the old tradition, without any knowledge and proper understanding. But the younger generation of today is more into self decision-making with a logical reasoning of their own

How to go about these?

Here is the key – There should be a well maintained balance. Younger generation should be willing to humble themselves to think from the older generation’s point of view, and to respect elder’s point of view. At the same time, they should be able to politely communicate their understanding to the older generation. Similarly, the older generation should be willing to understand the young minds. With a proper mutual understanding and respect, I think, this gap can be reduced to some extent, thus reducing unwanted conflicts, arguments and fights.

Also keep these in mind

To the children

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do (Eph 6: 1)

To the parents

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord (Eph 6: 4)

To the husbands

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Eph 5: 25)

To the wives

 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (Eph 5: 22)

What’s your understanding on this issue? How do you handle it? Would love to know the different ways we can address this issue. Please share your views below
Reference:-
http://misc-story.blogspot.in/2008/12/generation-gap.html
Pg 13, WhatsApp Chinthakal, Sharlet P Mathew

Re-fill your passion bucket!

Yes we need to constantly fill our passion bucket.
Many times, we will be drained of our energy, when we look at the impossibilities, the obstacles, or the negative words of dear/near ones. If your passion bucket is becoming empty, do something about it. Get back to square one- As yourself, Why did I want to have it, in the first place? Start desiring it all over again. Increase your passion for it. Find compelling reasons to go for it. Strive hard! Work hard! Fight for it, until you get it. Think about the precious reward waiting for you once you achieve it. Ask God for more wisdom.
Yes keep filling your passion bucket.
Once you get back your lost passion, you will get back your enthusiasm. Once you are filled with enthusiasm, nothing can stop you. You will find all possible ways to overcome any kind of obstacles that comes your way.
All the best! God help you to achieve His best planned for you.

According to Paul, Single-hood is the best!

I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. [I Cor 7: 6, 7]
Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. [I Cor 7: 25, 26]

Not sure whether Paul was married once and became single later, or never married. Bible is not clear on that. But one thing is sure- He was single when he was writing this. Paul used to travel a lot, establish churches in different countries and so on. He used to work part time and earn his living. Paul is the one who wrote more on married life and single-hood. Let’s discuss on what he has commented about single-hood.
By the way, I am not ‘for’ or ‘against’ Paul’s advice here, to remain single. But my objective is to derive some important things from his advice, to consider when you are single, so that you can maximize your single-hood before you get married.
Here are four ways how single-hood years can be made the best use of! (according to Paul)

1. Singles have ‘less troubles’ in this life

But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. [I Cor 7:28]

I think it’s true. Married people have lot of additional responsibilities like taking care of wife/husband and children, providing food for them and lot more. But the singles can concentrate more for self, devoting their time in preparing themselves for their future (developing career, reading, writing, studying, earning, taking care of parents and preparing for marriage etc)
I think the years before marriage are the best days to work on one’s career and personality. They have more time for education and things like that. So make the best use of this period!

2. Singles can dedicate more time for the ‘affairs of the Lord’

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. [I Cor 7: 32, 33]

A married person is much concerned about affairs of this world like pleasing his wife, taking care of wife and children etc. But a person who is single has nothing to worry about these, so that they can dedicate more time in the affairs of the Lord, like pleasing/serving God, helping others, being actively involved in church/social activities etc.
Even though these things can be done even after marriage, but the time available would be limited, as they have to dedicate time for family! Hence, it is wise to devote and maximize the available time during the single-hood years for the work/affairs of the Lord.
I have heard the personal testimony of many people (including my parents), that they were able to do more things for the Lord, when they were single.
Therefore, in the few years before you get married, maximize your time for the Lord, and do as much as you can for the Lord. You can study the books of the Bible, learn a musical instrument, write articles/blogs, attend/conduct seminars, get involved in mission works, visit mission fields and so on. These things are possible even after marriage, but there will be time constraints.

3. Singles can give ‘undivided devotion’ for the Lord

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. [I Cor 7: 34, 35]

Once married, you are bound to your spouse.

A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.  [I Cor 7: 39]

Singles, in one way, are free! They have more personal free time to completely devote themselves in building their relationship with the Lord like praying, fasting, reading Bible etc. This is a period of less distraction, so that you can use this time to build yourselves physically, spiritually and emotionally.

4. Singles can devote ‘their bodies and spirit’ to the Lord

Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. [I Cor 7: 34]

Being single is the best time to fully devote one’s body and mind for the Lord completely. But for the married, they have their marital duties to be fulfilled to each other, as Paul explains in the same chapter.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. [I Cor 7: 3-5]

Paul suggests that a husband and wife should be together always except by mutual consent and for a time, to devote to prayer and fasting. If they live separately, they are giving a chance for the devil to tempt to sin.
But for the singles, they have nothing to worry about any of these, but can devote their bodies and spirit to the Lord only.

Your turn

Now what do you say about these advises? What are your views on this? Do you think that these 4 can be done even after marriage, in its fullest potential? Please share your views below. Would like to hear from you.

It all starts from home

It all starts with ‘you’, or ‘me’ or with an ‘individual’. I call this ‘bottom-up approach’. If we look at the way, the world rulers are trying to bring peace, it is mainly through implementing new rules and regulations for social order. I call this as ‘top-down approach’.  As they continue their struggle in bringing peace, let us concentrate and discuss more on what ‘I’ as an individual can do or as a ‘family’. Parents, teachers and elders have greater role in moulding the younger generation with right moral values, because today’s youth are tomorrow’s citizens.
Before going further, let us briefly discuss on bottom-up approach.

What is bottom-up approach?

The moral system has to be built from scratch, starting from an individual, which is the smallest unit of a society. The order goes like this. Individual > Family > Society > Nation > World. When an individual stands for the moral values, that family is more oriented towards those standards. When a family gives more importance for this, the society is influenced, and this positive force spreads to other individuals and families. I think, this is the only way we can now bring some changes to the society. I learned this from the life of Jesus.
When Jesus came into this world, he came to bring in a new system of way of life. He could have implemented this in a different way. He could have tied-up with the top leaders of His time and use their influence to bring His ideas into execution. But He didn’t do that way. Instead, He chose a small set of people and trained them, and they were the ones God used to turn the world upside down. I call this as ‘bottom-up approach’. This can be applied to families, churches, companies, organisations and so on.
The advantage of this approach is that, one need not gain authority or position or power to implement this. Anybody willing to stand for the truth can start with small and basic things. The main reason behind world politics is that people compete for power. One of the good reasons behind this attempt is to bring a social order, through rules and regulations, once they come into power/authority. That is acceptable, but the problem is that everyone in the society will not be able to take this path. But each person, from an individual level, can bring in tremendous changes or influence to the society. Are you willing to take a stand for this?
Now let us come to the topic: How should a man treat a woman? With this topic, we will discuss few ways to implement this ‘bottom up approach’. Before beginning to start the discussion, let us identify the various combinations of relationships possible between a man and woman.

How should a man treat a woman?

• How should a boy treat a girl?
• How should a man treat his own wife?
• How should a man treat an older woman?
• How should a man treat a younger woman?
• How should a man treat his daughter?
• How should a man treat his mother?
• How should a man treat a friend who is a girl/woman?
• How should a man treat a woman who is a stranger?

These are some of the relationship combinations possible. In this article, my aim is to bring in some general principles which can be applied across these relationships, which will help a man to treat the woman in a better way.

1. Treat ‘her’, with as much respect as you want ‘you’ to be treated

Yes! That’s what Jesus taught.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. Matt 7: 12 (NIV)

This general principle can be applied to every relationship. A man should treat a woman, with as much respect as he wants him to be treated. Whenever a man is dealing with another woman, let it be a stranger or a colleague or his own sister/mother/daughter, he should give her the due respect which she deserves as a woman, created in God’s own image.
This is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus treated women with great dignity and respect.

2. Treat older woman as your ‘mother’ and younger woman as your ‘sister’

This is a beautiful principle from the Word of God. How wonderful this world would have been, if this was followed!

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. I Tim 5: 1,2

The principle is this : Treat older women as you would treat your own mother. Treat younger women (applicable to same age) as your own sister. Also note the phrase, ‘with absolute purity’.
I believe this principle can work wonders.
It doesn’t come easy or natural to make all women our sisters, daughters and mothers, but for men struggling with lust, putting this concept into action can turn troubling temptations into beautiful and affirming relationships. How to overcome sexual temptations? Click here to read
Another important thing to note here is this – Exhort instead of Rebuking
When we speak to elders, especially women who are older to us by few years or many years, we have to use our words carefully. Even, if we want to highlight a mistake in them, we have to do it with kindness and respect, with all purity. Note the phrase, “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father”. When applied to women, it becomes “Do not rebuke an older woman harshly, but exhort her as if she were your mother“.
Rebuke means to express sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their behaviour or actions. But to exhort means to strongly encourage or urge (someone) to do something
Same thing can be communicated in different ways. Instead of rebuking or shouting or screaming, do exhortation as an encouragement with great purity and kindness. When children speak to their mothers or teachers or elder sisters, note this point. They are worthy to be respected because of their age. And you will gain them in this process of humility and kindness.

3. Husband should love his wife as Jesus loved us

This is for husbands! How should a husband treat his wife? This is what the Bible teaches:-

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body.³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Eph 5 (NIV)

In another portion,

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. I Peter 3: 7

The instructions are pretty clear

1. A husband should love his wife in the same way Christ loved us
2. A husband ought to love his wife as his own bodies
3. A husband need to feed and take care of his wife
4. A husband must love his wife as he loves himself
5. A husband should treat his wife with respect considering her as a weaker partner

How did Jesus love the church? Jesus sacrificed Himself for her. A husband need to love his wife to that extent. That is the expectation set by the moral systems of the Word of God.
Just imagine, how the world would have been if this simple principle was followed?
Now, let us start implementing the bottom-up approach. Forget about the world and its systems. Let’s begin at home. If you are a ‘husband‘ reading this, you can try these principles starting from home, and you can teach your children to do the same. Let them learn from you, the way you treat their ‘mother‘. Remember, parents can train and greatly influence the children with the right moral system. So as a ‘father’, or a ‘husband’, if you do your duty to mould your child in the way he should go, he will never go astray.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22: 6 NKJV

Then the moral system of home, society and nations will dramatically be influenced. And that is the best way to bring a positive influence in this society

Your turn

Now what can you do? Is it possible to implement it in your family, in your church, in your company and in your society? What more can be added to this?

Did Jesus really tell not to watch pornography?

Good that you asked. My intention is not to answer this question, but I will attempt to explain a verse from the Bible, where Jesus speaks something which is very foundation to this. You can read that below and answer it for yourselves. (Don’t forget to post your answer as comments below)

You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery”. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart Matt 5: 27, 28

So, what has this to do with pornography?
Well, we may begin to define certain required terms to analyse this statement of Jesus, so that the following discussion may have more clarity.

What is pornography?

Pornography=Porn + graph.
Porn comes from the Greek word pornē which means prostitution, graph comes from the word graphein which means to write or record or to illustrate. Hence pornography can be defined as the illustration of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual arousal, which may be presented in a variety of media, including books, magazines, postcards, photographs, sculpture, drawing, painting, animation, sound recording, film, video, and video games. [Wiki]
Therefore Pornography is an

1. Illustration (in the form of text, image, video or audio)
2. Of sex content
3. Created for the purpose of arousal (sexual excitement)

or in other words, any graphical material created for the sole intention of causing sexual arousal can be called a pornographic content.
So, Jesus wasn’t kidding when He said,

everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart

Note the words, ‘looks at a woman’, ‘with lustful intent’, ‘already committed adultery’, ‘in his heart‘

• Adultery The term adultery refers to sexual acts between a married person and someone who is not that person’s spouse [Wiki]
• Lust – means to have a strong sexual desire for someone [Oxford] (lust in this context can also be sexual fantasy)
• Sexual fantasy is a mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person’s sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal

Let’s come back to the verse

You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery”. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matt 5: 27, 28

This was part of the first sermon of Jesus, which is also known as the Sermon on the Mount. 
Here, Jesus gives the general principle regarding adultery, which is applicable to all people, everywhere irrespective of culture, nationality, religion, language, gender or society. (That is one thing interesting about the Bible. It speaks about basic principles which can be applied to all walks of life. As generations goes by, technology advances, new words are added to language vocabulary, but the Word of God still remains unchangeable)
Jesus points out the root cause of adultery. Whoever looks at a woman with a lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Yes, adultery is a sin. The sin has entered the heart the moment one determines to seek it out. The moment a man even looks at a woman for that purpose, adultery has already polluted the heart. (This principle is applicable to both genders, whatever combinations it could be)
Adultery can be committed by single or married people. A single man having sex with a married woman is still committing adultery. Thus a single man lusting after a married woman is still guilty of adultery. It would be just as wrong for women to lust after a married man. It would be just as wrong for a man to lust after a single woman. It would be just as wrong for a man to lust after another man or for a woman to lust after another woman.
God looks at the intentions of the heart. Whatever we say or do originates from the heart.
That is why Jesus said,

 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person Matt 15: 19,20

Also in Proverbs, it says,

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Prov 4:23

From these verses, can we not derive that watching pornography tempts one to committing adultery in heart?
Whats wrong in watching pornography without causing any harm to others? Is God against human sexuality? Is God trying to give a hard commandment? There might a whole lot of similar questions in our minds.
Many times, we think of God’s commandments as lot of DO’S and DONT’S. But we need to go beyond that understanding and meditate on His real intention behind all His commandments. That’s when we know the loving nature of God, and that is what motivates us to obey God.

God is not against sex

God has created all humans as sexual beings. Sexual desire in itself is not wrong. Infact it was God’s idea to institute sex within marriage for procreation, enjoyment and to keep the husband and wife bonded for an entire lifetime. But pornography distorts this very purpose and spoils the intimate relationships by creating unrealistic expectations and replacing love with self-gratification.
When God gives a commandment, there should be a good reason behind it. Think of it this way – If you find your 10 year old kid watching pornography on the mobile, how would you respond? Definitely you will never want him to watch that, right? Because you know that it will spoil the young mind. Now, think from God’s perspective as a Father! When Father God says not to sexually fantasize a woman (who is not his spouse), wouldn’t He also have a solid reason for the same?
I have found few reasons on why we should never entertain pornography.

Reason#1 It is unethical to watch somebody else’s private moments

Ok, let me put it this way. During those days, there were no camera or advanced capturing systems. Hence, there were no blue films or videos of such content. Therefore the only way one can watch a sex scene is to be physically present in the room where the prostitution (porne) is going on, right? Is it not shameful to be physically present in a room where the prostitution is going on?
But, today through the misuse of advanced technology, one is virtually being present there, while watching it. Based on the definition of porn, watching pornography is the same as watching prostitution.
What if that video was the recording of a forced sex, or a sexual abuse? What if it were the videos of innocent girls/women who were trafficked into commercial sex slavery? By watching those, are we not indirectly promoting this industry? Think from the victim’s perspective.
Now, you may ask, how about porn stars, are they not willfully acting for pornographic stills/movies? What’s the harm in watching those?
When viewers increase, this demand increases, which paves way for a commercializing of such evil videos. So what I believe is this- if each one can take a personal ethical stand not to promote this, atleast we can prevent the spreading of this immorality to some extent.
Therefore, whatever video/image it is, if it is NOT ETHICAL to expose one’s private life, then it is also NOT ETHICAL to watch other’s as well. What do you say?

Reason#2 Loses natural sexual excitement in married life

God created sex to be enjoyed within the boundaries of marriage. Read the following verses

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. Prov 5: 18

Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil. Ecc 9: 9
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Heb 13:4

Therefore, sex is perfectly God’s plan and natural sexual desire is NOT wrong. Sex is not unholy or dirty in the sight of God as long as it is within the holy institution of marriage.
Now, when a person watches pornography, his/her brain is sexually stimulated. Scientists say that, hormones are responsible for this process. These hormones have some effect on the brain. On continual watching, the brain may reach a stage where it gets stimulated only if more intense sexual content is fed to it. Once a person happens to watch porn it will have serious long lasting effects on brain. Therefore, scientists say that, being addicted to pornography, may result in losing natural interest towards the spouse, which may even end up in sexual abuse inside of marriage.
Therefore, when Jesus says not to look at a woman with lustful intent, was He also not trying to set a moral standard to preserve healthy sexual relationships?

Reason#3 ‘Look’ may quickly lead to ‘Lust’

If you are a guy, you may understand this better. Because it is said that men are more easily sexually stimulated by ‘sight’.
I have read this in another post,

Look once, you’re human; look twice, you’re a man; look three times, you just disrespected your wife. (XXXChurch.com)

There is a thin line between looking and lusting, therefore keep the two separate. The fact that an attractive woman has caught your eye is as natural as the day is long. ‘Lusting’ however, is more of an actual craving, a coveting of something or a more voluntary thought process. The move from looking to lusting can be a very quick one, and will beat your conscience down with false guilt. (Covenant Eyes Blog) So it is a reminder to guard the heart by not giving a second or third look, which leaves less room for imagination.
This is what man of God named Job did

I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman. Job 31:3

Those who love God, loves to keep their hearts pure. Job is one good example.

Don’t lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyelashes. Prov 6:25

Looking is not sin, but lusting is! Jesus lived in this world as a young man and He never looked at a woman with a lustful intent. He proved that it was possible to live a pure life with the help of God.

Reason#4 We need not ‘go with the flow’

Even if the whole world promotes pornography, that doesn’t make it acceptable. We can challenge this generation, by taking a positive stand for this. But even if the whole world is against you, but God stands with you, you are still on the majority.
Noah was a man who lived before the flood, and showed a good example for us. (His story is recorded in the Book of Genesis)

This is the account of Noah and his family. Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God. Gen 6:9

Noah walked with God, in that evil generation. Therefore, God was much pleased with this man.
Just because one person takes a stand against pornography, doesn’t make any difference in this world. But one thing is guaranteed- you and your family may be saved.

Reason#5 It disqualifies us to train/teach others

Those addicted to pornography will be filled with guilt and shame. If we ourselves are addicted to it, how will help others to overcome this? If you are a leader of a society (a teacher, or a priest, or a pastor), how will you teach your followers?
If we do not take a stand against this evil, the moral system of this generation will go from bad to worse, which would adversely affect the coming generations. Therefore, when Jesus warns us about not lusting after a woman, was He not trying to build a society with good moral values?
Our society needs more teachers, leaders and parents who can teach good moral values to this society.

Reason#6 Will end up in Hell (No doubt about it)

This is scary, but it is the truth!

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matt 5: 28-30

Jesus continues to teach the consequence of adultery- whole body will be thrown into hell. Lustful thoughts eventually lead to sinful actions such as sexual abuse, rape etc. Therefore, we need to take utmost care to be careful with our thoughts.
So, when Jesus says, not to lust after women, He was trying to reveal the truth about its consequence. Ofcourse, we have the freedom to choose, but we should face its consequences as well.
This is what happened to Noah, and his generation (see the bold text below). And also a warning for us (see underlined text below)

For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to pits of darkness, reserved for judgment; and did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a preacher of righteousness, with seven others, when He brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly;and if He condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah to destruction by reducing them to ashes, having made them an example to those who would live ungodly lives thereafter 2 Peter 2: 4-6

Is there a way out?

Definitely yes. God is ever loving and merciful. He wants to help us.
Once a woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus. According to the rules of those days, such a woman should be stoned to death. But Jesus had mercy on her and forgave her, and told her not to sin again. (John 8)
How to overcome sexual temptations? Click here to read my previous post on this.
Do you think that Jesus would ask us to do something which is impossible for us? Never. Therefore, I believe, it is possible to keep one’s mind pure with the help of God.
Once, when Jesus was instructing on the moral standard of another similar issue, His disciples asked him how was that possible.

When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, “Then who can be saved?” And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matt 19: 25, 26

That means, with the help of God, it is possible. All we need to do is to stop justifying and to admit and confess the sin. And meditate the Word of God, so that the impure thoughts will be gradually replaced with good thoughts. This will help us overcome any challenge. The Word of God is God himself. So, the more ‘Word’ lives in our hearts, the more of ‘God’ will be in us.

How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. Psalms 119:9

Say this prayer if you really mean it
Father, I understand that watching porn is sin. I admit it and want to get rid of it. Please help me and make my heart and mind pure. Help me to meditate your Word and keep my life pure. Help me to guard my heart and to keep my eyes pure. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Your turn

Now, what do you say? Did Jesus really tell not to watch pornography? Is it wrong to watch even once? Is it possible to watch pornography without lusting? Is it a sin to watch porn for education purpose? I am sure, you might have some thoughts to share. Please go ahead and drop a comment below.

Temptation is the urge to do a thing, especially something that is not right. 
Is temptation wrong? No! Temptation in itself is not wrong. Every human being will be tempted. But the problem is when we yield to it, that is, when we do what we are tempted to do. So how to overcome it? How not to do wrong when tempted? How to battle the thoughts in mind?
Here are few thoughts. Feel free to share your views on this in the comment section below.

Get prepared beforehand

Today or tomorrow this temptation will attack you. So it is always better to be prepared. Know your weak areas beforehand, so that you can avoid the situations and the possibilities of doing wrong.
Why get prepared?
The reason is that, the moment when we are tempted, it is difficult to think too much and take a wise decision. This is where many people fall. Believe me, it is very difficult to apply all these so called ‘principles’ or ‘rules’ at that instant when we are tempted.
For example, if I speak specifically on the temptation of lust, the moment you get an opportunity to watch something sexual in content, which you know, is not good for you, you might have already fallen into it, before even you start applying ‘the principles to overcome it’. Am I right? So, if you really want to win the sexual battles going on in your mind, it is always wise to equip yourself to face the battle of lust beforehand, even before you are tempted. That’s the whole intention of this post.. Work on your weak areas and get prepared.
That is why, Jesus taught us to pray like this,

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. Matt 6:13

What was Jesus trying to teach us in this prayer about temptation?
We have to pray in advance so that during temptation we may not yield to doing wrong. During temptation, the urge to do wrong will be intense, and your will power to overcome it will be less. Hence, you may commit the mistake very soon, even before you think about the consequences. That is why prayer is very essential, so that you will be equipped with God’s help, so that during temptation, you will receive the extraordinary strength from God to overcome it.
That was why Jesus again taught His disciples this:

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak means you may want to do good and avoid doing wrong, but you are sometimes unable to achieve it because your body is weak. This is why prayer and preparation is highly essential. Knowing this secret will help you get prepared beforehand through prayer, so you will receive that extraordinary help from God to overcome it.

An intense desire not to do wrong

To overcome temptation, you must have an intense desire to stay away from doing wrong.
Why do you want to stay away from doing that?
The answer to this question will determine your course of action while you are being tempted. If you enjoy doing the same wrong thing, there is less chance that you come out of it. Next time when you are faced with temptation, you will easily fall into it, as your desire is to do it again. Therefore, the first step in overcoming temptation is to have an intense desire NOT TO do wrong.
As you know, there are lot of sexual content right in front you, just a click away. Is it really possible to overcome the sexual temptations popping up infront of you? I say, yes! But not with your own strength.
The greatest reason for not yielding to watch all sort of sexual content, should be to keep your mind and thought always pure. That desire to be healthy in mind, spirit and body should be your motivation for not yielding to sexual temptations.
Is it really possible to stay strong at times of temptation?
Yes. When you come to a closer relationship with God in prayer, your thoughts will start becoming pure and you will start hating wrong things, because you will know that it will defile your mind, body and spirit. The closer you walk with God, the more wise you will become to know the consequences of every thought you think, and every action you do.

Know what is right and what is wrong

Today, we live in a culture, where there is nothing such as right or wrong. It is hard to differentiate right from wrong. But I have a personal approach for this, which has always worked for me. I believe, it will be useful for you as well. According to me, whatever God has inspired through the Bible as ‘right’ is right and ‘wrong’ is wrong.
Let me give you an example. This is what Jesus said about evil thoughts.

I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matt 5:28

That means, if you think lustfully or evil about someone from an opposite gender, or think some sort of sexual fantasy in your mind, then, according to Jesus, it is equivalent to the very physical act itself in the sight of God. Seems strange? Yes, but it’s true! Hence we have to take this issue very seriously. But our culture and the media is so full of such content that it is extremely difficult to stay pure in mind. That’s where we need the help of God.
Do you think this is impossible?
As I said before, it’s difficult but not impossible. Jesus would never tell us to do something which we cannot do, will He? So, I believe this is perfectly possible, with the help of God.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matt 19:26

So inorder to know right from wrong, it is better to ask God himself, because He decides what is right and what is wrong. Does He not have the legal right to define it, since He is God Almighty? Therefore, to overcome temptation, it is extremely important to know what is right and what is wrong in the sight of God. So the best way is to read and meditate the Bible which contains the very words of God, which will help us understand how God thinks and what is right in His sight.
Now you know ‘what is right’ and you have a desire to ‘do that which is right’ and you are ‘praying’ about it to be able to ‘withstand at the time of temptation’. What next?

Flee

Yes, flee or run away or escape! Keep yourself away from all possibilities of temptations. Let me explain.
What does it mean to flee or run away?
I have read this sentence in another blog post, Fear God and mercilessly, block every source of sin. This really works. Stay away from anything which entices you.
I have heard this famous phrase, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, which is very true. Keep yourself busy with useful things. Keep away from things which easily entices you.
Did Joseph take advantage of her? 
There is a great story in the Bible, about Joseph, who was sold into slavery by his brothers, was taken to Egypt where he was sold to Potiphar, as a household slave. Potiphar made Joseph the head of his household. Joseph was very handsome and young. Naturally, Mrs Potiphar (the wife of Potiphar), “took notice of Joseph”.  One day, when her master was not at home, she tried to seduce Joseph to lay with her. The story goes like this

Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he refused. “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. (Genesis 39)

She then became furious at Joseph for resisting her attempts to seduce him, and falsely accused him of attempted rape. Potiphar casts Joseph into prison. And the story goes on.
Here my point is that Joseph was tempted day after day, and had all the opportunity right infront of him to commit adultery, but still he did not yield to it.
Then what did he do? He tried to avoid being with her and when she caught hold of him, he just ran away or He escaped! 
Yes, avoid tempting situations, run away! That’s the best option to resist yielding to temptation whenever you are attacked by it. Close that laptop, switch off that mobile, close that chat window, don’t look at it again, just quit and escape! Do whatever you can to stay away from it, if you want to be healthy in mind, spirit and body. This is a battle you need to discipline yourself daily to win. God can definitely help you in this.
See what the Bible says

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22

In an other translation

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (NLT)

Let me summarize

1. Get prepared beforehand by praying
2. Have a great desire to do the right thing in the sight of God
3. Keep yourself busy doing good things
4. Keep reading the Word of God so you will become more wise
5. Finally flee, during the time of temptation

Therefore do not wait till that day to overcome it. Prepare beforehand and you will not yield to it again.
What can you do to get prepared for the day of temptation? Share your views below. This is your time to share your thoughts with other readers who are reading this.